Change of Clothes
by Day Eight
Summary: BYAKUYAxISHIDA... need I say more?  Rated NC17 for smut and some swearing.  Heavy yaoi. One shot, maybe.


_Bleach and all associated characters are property of Kubo Tite. I'm just a pervert so I write these things to appease my dirty mind._

_All characters depicted in sexual situations are fictional and of the legal age of consent._

Just another weird thought that randomly popped in my head. I've never read this pairing, but I've never had an interest in it, much less looked for it, so I'm sure there are some out there. Actually, after I started this I kind of started to like it, a lot. Let me know what you think. If people approve, I might work with this pairing a little more.

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I sat in Kurosaki's living room, waiting for the crowd of Shinigami upstairs to finish with their primping. It was completely unnecessary for all of them to enter the real world for such a small problem. Kurosaki, Inoue, Sado, and I could handle the recent spike in Hollow activity without their help. Plus, if worse came to worse, there was always Urahara-san, however troublesome he might be. Perhaps Soul Society was worried that the increase in attacks had something to do with Aizen and his group, but sending a captain, vice captain, and two 11th Division shinigami was a little bit of overkill, if you asked me. But then, no one did ask me. I was practically invisible—the Quincy that happened to be a friend of Kurosaki's.

It had been quite a commotion when Kuchiki-san, Abarai-kun, Madarame-san, and Ayasegawa-kun showed up on Kurosaki's doorstep. Sado and I had just finished killing off three rather annoying Hollows and had decided to stop at Kurosaki's to ask him if he knew what was attracting so many to the area. We had barely sat down when there was a loud bang as the door flew open and the mismatched group barged right in. Kurosaki had flew into a frenzy, chewing Abarai-kun out for being such an ass and having no respect. The two bickered back and forth for a few minutes, getting louder every second, until Kuchiki-san cleared his throat and Abarai-kun fell silent.

After being told that the Shinigami had come to the real world to assess the current rise in Hollow appearances, Kurosaki immediately demanded that the four men change into different clothes if they were going to follow him around town. I had to smirk at this. Abarai-kun was wearing his prized hippie getup, and looked downright ridiculous. Madarame-san was wearing a baggy sweatshirt and sweatpants, and looked like he had just gotten back from the gym. A wooden sword poked out from his waistband, making the somewhat normal outfit look absurd. Ayasegawa-kun was wearing a pink floral shirt and skin tight, black jeans. The top few buttons of the shirt were undone, revealing a glimpse of pale skin. He looked like he had just stepped out of a gay pride parade. Kuchiki-san was the least ridiculous looking, although his outfit was a bit outdated. He wore a traditional black kimono and hakama, and if it weren't for the missing captain's haori, silk scarf, and kenseikan—it wouldn't have been any different from his everyday uniform.

Abarai-kun and Madarame-san both argued with Kurosaki for a bit before grudgingly agreeing to change. The substitute Shinigami could be pretty stubborn when he wanted to be, which was practically all the time. Ayasegawa-kun simply giggled and said that he wouldn't mind trying on new clothes. Big surprise there. Kuchiki-san sighed in annoyance and curled his lip slightly, but seemed to rather change his close than deal with Kurosaki's protesting if he didn't. Leave it to Kurosaki to annoy even the cold captain into complying. The five of them went upstairs, where I supposed they would change into something Kurosaki had. I stuck around just to see what he would dress them in. This would be interesting.

There were a few shouts of "No fucking way" and "Like hell" and a lot of shuffling before Kurosaki finally descended the steps and came into the living room. He had a smug look of satisfaction on his face and I wondered what in the world had went on up there. A moment later, Abarai-kun bounded down the stairs and joined us. He was wearing a tight black t-shirt and loose fitting jeans. The clothes actually looked pretty good on him. I was beginning to wonder where or why Kurosaki had gotten baggy pants, since he always wore tight ones, when Madarame-san appeared, wearing straight legged jeans and a green, button-up top. That stupid sword was still sticking out of his pants. He was hopeless. Abarai-kun made some comment about Madarame-san's shirt and received a sharp jab to the shoulder in return. Kurosaki stepped in and I was sure there was going to be a brawl when Ayasegawa-kun floated down the steps and entered the room, twirling around to show everyone his new look. I coughed back a chuckle; that man was utterly feminine. He was wearing the only pink shirt that Kurosaki owned. It had "Real Men Wear Pink" written in black letters across the chest. Real Men? As if. He had replaced his earlier tight black pants for ones that were just a smidgen looser. I sighed; he was pretty hopeless, too. He bounced up and down, giggling behind his hands. "Wait until you see Kuchiki-taichou's hair!" he squealed. Oh gods, whatever did he do to the poor captain?

I didn't have to wait long to find out, since Kuchiki-san appeared just a moment later. My eyes widened in surprise as I looked him up and down, completely unprepared for what I saw. Kuchiki-san looked _hot_. He was wearing loose, light colored jeans that hung from his hips and accentuated a rather attractive ass. The shirt he was wearing was navy blue and looked amazing as it clung to his pale, muscular body. Since he was taller than Kurosaki, the shirt didn't quite meet the waistband of his pants, showing the slightest glimpse of his flawless stomach. A studded belt was threaded through the loops of the jeans, drawing attention to his thin hips. However, the most surprising feature was his hair. It was pulled back in a pony tail, revealing his long, white neck. A few stray strands were intentionally left out to fall around his face, softening his sharp features and making him look, well, _beautiful_.

Realizing that I was gawking, I quickly pushed my glasses up my nose and turned to Kurosaki. "Who would have thought that you had anything in your closet besides ratty t-shirts and emo jeans?"

He glared at me and huffed; he was so easy to goad. "It's better than that white getup and cape you adore so much," he quipped. Ouch. Point taken.

Abarai-kun chuckled and stretched his arms. "Well," he said, "I'm starving. Ya got anything to eat in this place?"

Kurosaki rolled his eyes. "No, and when aren't you hungry?"

The redhead scowled at him and moved toward the door. "Well, if ya ain't got anything to eat, you're coming with me to get something."

"What?!" Kurosaki's eyes widened to the size of saucers; for some reason Abarai-kun could push all his buttons in one statement. "Why the hell do _I _have to go with you?"

Abarai-kun smirked. "Because you're our host, dumbass."

Realizing it was probably a battle he couldn't win, Kurosaki clenched his fists. "Fine, whatever."

Madarame-san and Ayasegawa-kun jumped up and followed the two bickering men out the door. "We'll come with," giggled Ayasegawa-kun, "I _love_ shopping." Another huge surprise.

Sado stood and looked at me. "I'm going to leave, too. I promised Inoue that I would train with her today." He was leaving me? _Here_? I glanced over at Kuchiki-san, now sitting very straightly on the couch with his hands clasped on his crossed legs. _With him_?

Before I could open my mouth to protest, Kurosaki poked his head back in the room. "Oh, my sisters and father won't be home until tomorrow—they're on some stupid 'family bonding' trip that I just barely got out of. You don't mind staying for a while, do you, Ishida?" The tone of his voice suggested that he wasn't completely comfortable with the Sixth Division captain staying there by himself. Glancing back at the silent Shinigami, I waited for him to get up and say he would go with the others, relieving me of "babysitting" duty. When no such action came, I sighed and nodded at Kurosaki, only to find that he had already left. Perfect, just... perfect.

I shifted uneasily on the couch, grateful that I was on the complete opposite side of the large piece of furniture as the captain. Kuchiki-san raised his hand and twisted a piece of hair around a long finger. The black strands looked even darker as they contrasted against his pale skin. He looked at me out of the corner of his eye and I quickly averted my gaze and slid my glasses up my nose. I was _not_ staring.

Kuchiki-san let his hands fall back to his lap. There was a very long span of extremely uncomfortable silence. What the heck do you say to a hundred-something-year-old Shinigami captain who, on top of being the most proper person alive, was a noble? I cleared my throat and pushed up my glasses, again. I was _not_ nervous.

There was a sigh as Kuchiki-san flicked an invisible speck of lint off his jeans. Just when I was about to go insane from the awkwardness, he finally spoke. "I see that your powers have returned." His voice was smooth, but firm.

"Ah, um... yeah." Since when had I turned into a babbling idiot? Mentally hitting myself, I tried to speak normally. "Ryuuken helped me regain my abilities."

A dark brow arched and Kuchiki-san turned to look at me. My breath hitched as cool, steely eyes pierced my own. "Ryuuken?"

"My father, although I refuse to call him that." The comment was bitterer than I had intended. That topic wasn't exactly my favorite.

Kuchiki-san must have gotten the hint. A few more minutes of silence passed before he spoke again. "I heard that you lost your Quincy abilities in Seireitei during the rescue of my sister."

I nodded. That topic wasn't my favorite, either.

"I appreciate your effort and regret the consequences you suffered as a result of saving Rukia." His voice had lowered a bit and I could tell that he wasn't exactly used to thanking people.

"It was nothing," I assured him, not really sure why I cared what he thought, "I got my powers back and there was no real harm done."

He looked at me curiously. "You still risked your life for someone you barely knew."

Okay, this was getting a little weird. "I wasn't trying to save your sister. I wanted to test myself against other Shinigami," I said, trying to alleviate my own discomfort.

"Is that so?" There was a hint of amusement in his voice. "You believed you could defeat us?"

That's not really how I meant it. "Something like that." I really didn't feel like explaining myself to him. He _was_ a Shinigami, after all—albeit a incredibly handsome one.

What? Why were these thoughts popping up in my head? I was pretty sure the captain was straight—he _had_ been married to a woman. And, even if there was a one in a million chance he _was _bi, why would he even think twice about me, a kid Quincy that he barely knew? I pushed the annoying thoughts from my head and tried to think of something neutral to say. Nothing. Damn, when the heck was Kurosaki getting back? Glancing at the clock, I realized that only a ten minutes had passed since the others left. Great.

Kuchiki-san sensed my unease and spoke, this time a little more... friendly. "Do you associate with Kurosaki-kun much?"

I fought the urge to simultaneously chuckle at his attempt at small talk and balk at his assumption. "No," I blurted out, "I only see him when there are Hollows around."

"Ah." His voice suggested that he didn't believe me. I almost groaned. This was really not what I needed today. Kuchiki-san shifted his weight on the couch and propped an elbow up on the armrest. His hand came up to cradle his chin and he relaxed slightly, staring at the painting on the opposite wall. The movement had revealed more of the milky skin that had been peeking out between his shirt and pants. My throat tightened and my eyes were involuntarily drawn to that little patch of flawless flesh. It looked soft and unbelievably smooth. I felt my heart hammer in my chest and I wondered what that whiteness would feel like, _taste_ like. Kuchiki-san turned his head, pinning me with that cold grey stare and making me jump. "Does my appearance appeal to you, Ishida-kun?"

Damn it, he caught me. Trying my best to act naturally, I pushed my glasses up my nose and looked away. "Not particularly."

I looked at him out of the corner of my eye as a faint smirk pulled at his lips. Was I that transparent? I was going to have to work on lying better. Kuchiki-san uncrossed his legs and edged a bit closer to me. What the heck was he doing? "Have you ever been with a man before, Ishida-kun?"

What?! What kind of question was that? A burning blush crept over my face and I swallowed hard. Never in a million years would I have thought I would be hearing such a question from _that man_. "Uh, I, uh..." I stammered.

"Your hesitance suggests that you have." He moved closer. "Did you enjoy it, Ishida-kun?"

Someone shoot me. Slash me to ribbons; drown me in glue, anything to get me out of this incredibly embarrassing situation. "I really don't see how it's any of your business," I said sharply, slightly annoyed by his sudden interest in my sex life.

Suddenly, Kuchiki-san was right next to me and his leg brushed up against mine. A gasp threatened to leave my mouth and I couldn't stop the shudder that went through me as his body came into contact with mine. What in the world was going on? I looked at him in surprise. He was looking at me with a quiet intensity, his face only a foot away from my own. Still not quite believing that this was actually happening, I decided to play along—see how far the captain would take this. He _was _pretty darn fine, after all. "Maybe I did enjoy it, why does it matter to you?"

I was in no way prepared for or expecting what happened next.

In a heartbeat, Kuchiki-san closed the distance between us an pressed his lips against my own. My eyes flew open wide in shock as a strong hand gripped my jaw and pulled me into the kiss. His tongue darted out to tease my lips and without even thinking, I parted them to allow him access to my mouth. He pushed his tongue forward and let it mingle with mine, tasting me and letting me do the same to him. I closed my eyes and gave in to the kiss, swirling my tongue around his and enjoying the smooth warmth of his mouth.

Suddenly remembering _who _it was I was kissing, I pulled back and gawked at him. "K-Kuchiki-san."

He looked at me, almost _smugly_. "You may call me Byakuya, for the time being." His voice was low and filled with a hundred sensual promises. I swallowed hard.

"Byakuya..."

Before I knew it, his mouth was back on mine, a little more firm and demanding this time. He moved my legs onto the couch and straddled my knees, taking my face in his hands and deepening the kiss. I completely forgot that I was planning on rejecting him and lost myself in his lips, enjoying the sensation of his skilled tongue against my own. When he eventually pulled away, I was breathing hard and there was a steady heat pooling in my groin. He was _good_.

Byakuya smirked at me and gathered the hem of my shirt in his hands, pulling it up and over my head in one graceful movement that made me wonder briefly how many times he had done that. I moaned when his lithe hands moved over my body, long fingers splaying over my stomach and chest. When he found the two hardening nubs, my back arched and I bit back another moan. His fingertips circled the peaks and they hardened even more. I completely lost it when he bent down to flick his tongue over one, gripping his head and groaning loudly. Pale lips smirked against my skin and he repeated the action, letting his tongue swirl around the raised flesh slower this time. I bit my lip and raised my hips off the couch, pressing my rock hard arousal towards any form of friction I could find.

Two hands gripped my legs as Byakuya slid me down the couch until I was laying flat. He straddled me again and turned his attention to licking a path from my nipples to my neck. Perfectly straight teeth nipped underneath my jaw and I clenched the couch in my fists. I never would have thought that he would be like this—never in my wildest dreams. His tongue darted out against the sensitive spot behind my ear and my body turned to putty, practically melting into the couch. That wicked tongue did things I'd never imagined possible around my ear, briefly dipping inside before his teeth nipped at the lobe. Every muscle in my body tensed and relaxed, riding out the waves of sensation that stemmed from just that simple touch.

"Do you want me to take you?" His voice was hot and husky against my ear, sending a tremor of anticipation through me.

"Gods, yes." I could care less about my previous hesitations. What he was doing felt _damn_ good and all I wanted was for it to continue. Reaching up and sliding my hand behind his neck, I pulled him down to my lips, taking the liberty to thrust my tongue into his mouth as he had done to me earlier. He allowed me to explore his mouth, gazing at me with mild interest as I kissed him. When I released him to catch my breath, he sat up and peeled off his shirt, revealing a span of shapely muscles rippling underneath beautiful ivory skin. I couldn't control my hands as they immediately reached up to feel the exposed flesh. It was smoother than silk and warm under my touch, softer than anything human should ever be.

Byakuya let my hands roam over his torso, watching me with a seductive half-lidded stare. I sat up and pressed my mouth to his skin, reveling in the feel of that smooth heat under my lips. Kissing a trail up his chest, I let my tongue flicker over a dark nipple, trying to draw some sort of reaction from the stony man. I was rewarded when a barely audible sigh fell from the lips above me and a strong hand gripped my hair. Continuing my experiments with my tongue, I memorized the moves that got a response and repeated them. Above me, the captain's breathing became a little heavier and his hand gripped my hair a bit harder.

"Uryuu." My name sounded like pure sex coming from those pale lips. The lust in his voice filled me and I suddenly couldn't get naked quick enough. I tugged at my pants and looked up at him pleadingly. Smirking, he undid the buttons and slid the jeans down my legs. He stood and I immediately reached for his belt, fumbling with the buckle for a moment and silently cursing the shaking of my fingers. As soon as the belt was out of the way, I pulled on his pants and let them slide to his feet. I gasped as I was met with the sight of his arousal, fully erect and staring me in the face. He went _commando_? Suddenly it clicked—of course Ichigo wouldn't let him wear his underwear, and most people didn't wear anything under their kimono and hakama. Still, the thought of Byakuya wearing nothing under those jeans was highly erotic. I licked my lips and returned my attention to the beautiful erection in front of me.

I gripped the base of Byakuya's arousal and appraised it silently. It was practically a piece of art. Far larger than I had expected, it was the same milky white as the rest of him. Its subtle curves looked absolutely delicious. Unable to wait any longer, I flicked my tongue over the tip and tasted the clear droplets of liquid that had gathered there. He tasted even better than he looked. I closed my eyes and let my tongue slide along the underside of his length, over the gently pulsing vein. Even this flesh was unbelievably soft and smooth, like hot satin under my tongue. Inhaling deeply, I took in his rich scent and let it fill me with my own need. He was insanely arousing, and my own erection pushed eagerly against my boxers.

My tongue swirled lightly around the tip before I closed my mouth around him, drawing him into the wet warmth of my mouth and making him close his eyes in pleasure. I swallowed as much of him as I could before sucking lightly and slowly pulling my mouth back up his length. A soft moan sounded above me and I repeated the movement, desperate to hear that sound again.

Byakuya's hands fisted in my hair again and he pulled me off him, bringing me to my feet and kissing me deeply. Slightly disappointed in being forced to leave his erection, I broke the kiss and looked at him curiously. His eyes were dark with desire and he leaned closer to whisper in my ear. "Take off your boxers and lay down on the couch, Uryuu."

My pulse beat heavy in my head and I quickly complied. His voice was firm and _oh_ so sexy. I would probably do anything he wanted, if he told me to using that tone. I stripped completely and laid down on my back as Byakuya rummaged in the pocket of his jeans, bringing out a small silver packet of lube. So he had been planning something like this all along? What a kinky bastard. Not that I was complaining.

In one graceful movement, Byakuya was between my legs and kissing me fiercely. His tongue battled with mine, and eventually won. I closed myself and lost myself in the kiss. After a moment I felt two lube-slicked fingers teasing my entrance. My body quivered from the touch and I moved down, trying to push those fingers in. He took the hint and slid them in, twisting them in a way that made my head feel light before scissoring them, stretching me in the most pleasurable way possible. His tongue continued to swirl in my mouth, mimicking his fingers and I almost died as the two sensations washed over me. When his fingers brushed against my sweet spot, my back left the couch and I flung my arms around his neck, clinging to him as the intense feeling coursed through me.

Byakuya withdrew his fingers, making me groan at the loss of sensation. I wasn't left wanting for long; in an instant he had squeezed the remaining lube out of the packet and onto his pulsing erection. After a few strokes to coat himself with the slick liquid, he aligned his arousal with my waiting opening and pushed slowly forward. His thickness stretched me to capacity and I felt the slightest sting before it fizzled into pleasure. He continued to ease in until he was completely buried in my heat.

Once he had given me a moment to adjust, he began a maddening slow rhythm, giving me just enough friction to feel pleasure but not enough to push me closer to the edge. He smirked down at me and continued to torture me with his lazy pace.

"Please," I begged. He stilled completely. What? No. Don't stop. Anything but that. His smirk widened and he stared at me, completely motionless. Damn it, I was going to go insane. I gripped his hips hard and pulled him into me, groaning when his hips ground into mine and he filled me completely. He looked at me, a little surprised, before the first real smile I had ever seen from him lit up his face. Gods, he was _gorgeous_.

"Impatient, are we?" He bent down to nip playfully at my ear before slamming into me with so much force that I saw stars. _Yes. _That was what I wanted, what I needed. I closed my eyes and let the sensation pour over me. Not once faltering, he continued crashing into me in a perfect, hard rhythm. I gripped his arms and pushed up into his thrusts, moaning in pleasure every time he bore down into me. My breathing became more and more labored with every push and a fine sweat broke out over my body. Byakuya kept his eyes on my face, making me even crazier with that lusty look in his eyes.

He gripped my hips and angled them, grinding into my sweet spot on the next thrust. I gasped and arched my back as a thick wave of pleasure swept over me. The heat began to pool in my stomach and I knew I was close. "Byakuya..." He licked his lips and continued to pound into me, hitting my spot every time he drove forward.

Suddenly, the world went white and I screamed in blissful agony as my pleasure peaked and the most intense orgasm I'd ever experienced wracked my body. My body clenched and released, completely enslaved to the powerful sensations washing over it. Byakuya pushed forward one last time and stilled as his own release found him. He surged inside of me, drawing a few more delightful tremors from my already over stimulated body.

When I could think again, I felt Byakuya move and winced as he left my body. He leaned forward and kissed me, slowly and delicately. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the kiss. After a moment he stood and wiped my seed from my stomach with a tissue. Still finding it hard to breathe, I draped an arm over my eyes and tried to still my fluttering heart. When I looked back at him, Byakuya was fully dressed and looked completely unflustered, definitely _not_ like he had just been screwing me into the couch cushions.

"How..." He cut me off by pressing his lips to mine in a chaste kiss.

"You may want to get dressed," he said, a hint of amusement in his voice, "Kurosaki-kun and the others are on their way back." I stared at him blankly before I felt the faint flicker of Kurosaki's reiatsu a little ways away.

There was a flurry of clothes as I scrambled to get dressed and make myself look somewhat like I _hadn't_ just had the best sex of my life. When I had made sure all my clothes were right-side-out, I pushed my glasses up my nose and glanced at Byakuya. He stood in front of me and smoothed my stray hairs down. A lump formed in my throat. What now?

"Um, Kuchiki-san?" I looked at my feet and bit my lip nervously.

"Hm?" He was back on the couch and looking exactly like he did before the others had left.

"Could we... um... do that again sometime?" I sounded like a complete idiot.

"We'll see." His tone was indifferent but I saw a slight smirk play at the corner of his mouth. Thank the Gods.

"Oi! Ishida, Byakuya, we're back!" Kurosaki's voice rang out in the quiet house. "Sorry it took so long, you guys didn't get bored, did ya?" he asked as he poked his head in the room.

I looked over at Byakuya, who was studying his fingernails and looking positively uninterested in the rest of the world. "It wasn't too bad, I guess," I lied.

Wasn't too bad? Right. It was the best time I've had in a long time, maybe ever.

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Hmm... that was a lot of fun to write, surprisingly. They actually fit together quite nicely in my perverted little mind. If any of you have read any other Byakuya/Ishida fics, please tell me. I'm interested to see what other people have done with this pairing. Also, I'm a little curious to see if I'm the first person to play with this odd couple. I can't be the first... there are just too many freaks like me out there.


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